Fun Stuff


Ten years ago I took my first steps into the digital wilderness. I bought my first computer, a shitty Pentium Acer, which I paid a small fortune for. I remember being amazed at the wonderful world to be conquered just beyond the glass of my brand new 14 inch monitor. No longer would I have to hand type my thoughts into the unforgiving typewriter. No longer would I have to buy Playboy or Penthouse to see hot nude women. From the moment my speedy 14.4 modem went flying into the wired blue yonder I knew that the internet held all sorts of special adventures, and the promise of riches beyond my most vivid dreams.

And yet years later I still found myself unfulfilled. Somewhere down the line I missed the point. Sure I had used the internet as a consumer, as a job hunter, as a girl hunter, and most embarrassingly as a chronic masturbator, but something was still missing. Where was the adventure, where were the riches? After I got laid off from my last dot bomb job I decided that if I was going to rule the world I had to do it by being my own man. I needed to follow the Mark Cubans of the world, the Bill Gates. I needed to innovate; I needed to be the master of my own destiny. Well, several thousand dollars later I found my self broke, uninspired and still wanting more.

That's when I became this person you find here today. Many of you who read this know me from a little site called Myspace; it was there that I really got an opportunity to understand what it was I wanted most. Unlike AOL, (which in my experience was just populated by a bunch of old men pretending to be hot young girls with other old men hitting on them) Myspace created a venue where I could express who I am and what I really stood for. In an odd way it revolutionized the internet, and in turn it gave me a whole new perspective on what I wanted to use the net for.

Now let me preface the following by saying that anyone can be an internet celebrity these days. All you need is a digital camera, a Myspace account, and the balls to pretend to be something much bigger than you are in real life. The truth of the matter is that accidentally this worked for me. I became "the guy on the internet who flips everyone off" and for whatever reason, what started out as a very anti-social hand gesture has become my iconic gateway into your life and the lives of many others. What is truly funny is that I didn't plan on being "that guy" it just sort of happened. In fact EVERYTHING about my Myspace persona started out as an exaggeration of who I really am, and somehow people bought into it.

Once the ball got rolling and I realized that I had the attention of a lot of people I got to thinking about what I could do with it. I thought long and hard about it. For once I was in a position where the internet had given me something I could work, something I could bite into, but I was afraid that somehow if I pushed the limits too hard I would lose the gift of your attention. Finally I decided that the best thing I could do with all this is start talking about the things that mattered most to me in hopes that people out there could relate. At first I was concerned that it wouldn't be in line with the finger flipping fool I had become and then I realized that the more of the real me I tossed out there the more you guys would throw back. I was amazed, I was elated, and many times I was profoundly touched. You liked me, you really liked me and my mind was made up that finger flipping persona or not I was going to bust my ass to be the best me I could be and give back every ounce of inspiration, education, fun, and respect all of you have given me.

I realize that Mr. Badfinger seems like nothing much more than an attempt to elevate myself and the persona that made me on Myspace to a new level. The name and image it conjures seems obviously egotistical. However, on the contrary, this site is nothing more than a tribute to all of you who have opened your hearts, minds, and lives up to me. It is my intention to use this venue to repay all of you on some level for the great things you say and do for me everyday in spite of the fact that my image keeps flipping you off.

This site has a goal to be all it can be for you. I want it to be funny, informative, inclusive, and real. Many of you I am sure are saying "Isn't that what you do on Myspace?", and the answer is yes. However, this place will be a little bit more like home for me. I'll be drinking more beers, putting my feet on the table, and likely shifting my package freely. In short, here I will be comfortable and free to explore and expand to new levels without the watchful eyes of Myspace.

After a decade of wandering in the digital frontier aimlessly I find myself before you, and I am here to make you laugh, make you talk, and make you think. That's why I came all this way, that's why I am writing this. I am glad to do these things, and humbled that you let me.


2:22 am January 13, 2006


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