Ten years ago I took my first steps into the
digital wilderness. I bought my first computer, a shitty Pentium
Acer, which I paid a small fortune for. I remember being amazed
at the wonderful world to be conquered just beyond the glass
of my brand new 14 inch monitor. No longer would I have to
hand type my thoughts into the unforgiving typewriter. No
longer would I have to buy Playboy or Penthouse to see hot
nude women. From the moment my speedy 14.4 modem went flying
into the wired blue yonder I knew that the internet held all
sorts of special adventures, and the promise of riches beyond
my most vivid dreams.
And yet years later I still found myself unfulfilled.
Somewhere down the line I missed the point. Sure I had used
the internet as a consumer, as a job hunter, as a girl hunter,
and most embarrassingly as a chronic masturbator, but something
was still missing. Where was the adventure, where were the
riches? After I got laid off from my last dot bomb job I decided
that if I was going to rule the world I had to do it by being
my own man. I needed to follow the Mark Cubans of the world,
the Bill Gates. I needed to innovate; I needed to be the master
of my own destiny. Well, several thousand dollars later I
found my self broke, uninspired and still wanting more.
That's when I became this person you find here
today. Many of you who read this know me from a little site
called Myspace; it was there that I really got an opportunity
to understand what it was I wanted most. Unlike AOL, (which
in my experience was just populated by a bunch of old men
pretending to be hot young girls with other old men hitting
on them) Myspace created a venue where I could express who
I am and what I really stood for. In an odd way it revolutionized
the internet, and in turn it gave me a whole new perspective
on what I wanted to use the net for.
Now let me preface the following by saying that
anyone can be an internet celebrity these days. All you need
is a digital camera, a Myspace account, and the balls to pretend
to be something much bigger than you are in real life. The
truth of the matter is that accidentally this worked for me.
I became "the guy on the internet who flips everyone
off" and for whatever reason, what started out as a very
anti-social hand gesture has become my iconic gateway into
your life and the lives of many others. What is truly funny
is that I didn't plan on being "that guy" it just
sort of happened. In fact EVERYTHING about my Myspace persona
started out as an exaggeration of who I really am, and somehow
people bought into it.
Once the ball got rolling and I realized that
I had the attention of a lot of people I got to thinking about
what I could do with it. I thought long and hard about it.
For once I was in a position where the internet had given
me something I could work, something I could bite into, but
I was afraid that somehow if I pushed the limits too hard
I would lose the gift of your attention. Finally I decided
that the best thing I could do with all this is start talking
about the things that mattered most to me in hopes that people
out there could relate. At first I was concerned that it wouldn't
be in line with the finger flipping fool I had become and
then I realized that the more of the real me I tossed out
there the more you guys would throw back. I was amazed, I
was elated, and many times I was profoundly touched. You liked
me, you really liked me and my mind was made up that finger
flipping persona or not I was going to bust my ass to be the
best me I could be and give back every ounce of inspiration,
education, fun, and respect all of you have given me.
I realize that Mr. Badfinger seems like nothing
much more than an attempt to elevate myself and the persona
that made me on Myspace to a new level. The name and image
it conjures seems obviously egotistical. However, on the contrary,
this site is nothing more than a tribute to all of you who
have opened your hearts, minds, and lives up to me. It is
my intention to use this venue to repay all of you on some
level for the great things you say and do for me everyday
in spite of the fact that my image keeps flipping you off.
This site has a goal to be all it can be for
you. I want it to be funny, informative, inclusive, and real.
Many of you I am sure are saying "Isn't that what you
do on Myspace?", and the answer is yes. However, this
place will be a little bit more like home for me. I'll be
drinking more beers, putting my feet on the table, and likely
shifting my package freely. In short, here I will be comfortable
and free to explore and expand to new levels without the watchful
eyes of Myspace.
After a decade of wandering in the digital frontier
aimlessly I find myself before you, and I am here to make
you laugh, make you talk, and make you think. That's why I
came all this way, that's why I am writing this. I am glad
to do these things, and humbled that you let me.
2:22 am January 13, 2006
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